


Little Lion Man

by katcoo13



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, M/M, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-28
Updated: 2011-05-28
Packaged: 2017-10-19 20:34:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katcoo13/pseuds/katcoo13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written from song inspiration.<br/>Weep for yourself, my man,<br/>You'll never be what is in your heart<br/>Weep, little lion man,<br/>You're not as brave as you were at the start<br/>Rate yourself and rake yourself<br/>Take all the courage you have left<br/>Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head</p><p>Karkat/Sollux/Terezi.Sort of, kind of romance, but not really.<br/>A Friend rescuing a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Lion Man

**Author's Note:**

> Weep for yourself, my man,  
> You'll never be what is in your heart  
> Weep, little lion man,  
> You're not as brave as you were at the start  
> Rate yourself and rake yourself  
> Take all the courage you have left  
> Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head
> 
> But it was not your fault but mine  
> And it was your heart on the line  
> I really fucked it up this time  
> Didn't I, my dear?  
> Didn't I, my dear?
> 
> Tremble for yourself, my man,  
> You know that you have seen this all before  
> Tremble, little lion man,  
> You'll never settle any of your scores  
> Your grace is wasted in your face,  
> Your boldness stands alone among the wreck  
> Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck
> 
> But it was not your fault but mine  
> And it was your heart on the line  
> I really fucked it up this time  
> Didn't I, my dear?
> 
> But it was not your fault but mine  
> And it was your heart on the line  
> I really fucked it up this time  
> Didn't I, my dear?  
> Didn't I, my dear?
> 
>  
> 
> But it was not your fault but mine  
> And it was your heart on the line  
> I really fucked it up this time  
> Didn't I, my dear?
> 
> But it was not your fault but mine  
> And it was your heart on the line  
> I really fucked it up this time  
> Didn't I, my dear?  
> Didn't I, my dear?

You are SOLLUX CAPTOR and you are worried shitless.

>>EXPLAIN

Your best friend, KARKAT VANTAS just ran out of the room after a speech. You've never seen him like that, and you are contemplating on following him. Everyone in the room is completely silent. Everyone is afraid. They are shocked even.

>>FLASHBACK

“Hehehe, why'd you call us all here if it wasn't for teasing you?”, said Terezi. Karkat has ordered a meeting for everyone, now all squashed into the only room with big enough couches to fit all the trolls. Karkat is facing all of them, pacing back in forth, looking pissed as usual. You mean everyone, too, because Kanaya's new rainbow drinker power thing has brought everyone back. Of course she had to sew their heads back on THEN bring them back, but yeah. None the less, everyone was curious.

“SHUT UP. THIS IS IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT AND I NEED EVERYONE TO LISTEN, INCLUDING YOU GAMZEE, EVEN IF YOUR NUBSUCKING ARMS AND LEGS ARE GLUES DOWN TO THE TABLE.”, Karkat yelled. All he did was yell anyway, it wasn't a big surprise. We all decided to tease him as usual. While he was a good leader, and I guess we could say that we respected him to some point, it was fun to see his reactions.

“Aww, Karkles don't be like that! You might just start to blush all cherry red again! And on that topic, maybe you should.”

“True, I find it quite entertaining myself that you seem to be more reactive then usual Karkat. Are you here to tell us your love for the humans and intend to make us oh-so jealous? I would just cry!”, Vriska laughed, laying on Tavros (who was blushing and uncomfortable). Karkat growled and stopped pacing.

“I DON'T LOVE THE DAMN HUMANS GRUBFUCKER. GOD WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BIG BITCH, FUCKING HUMAN JEGUS. WE HAVE TO PREPARE OURSELES FOR WHEN THOSE PINK THINGS GET HERE. I AM THE LEADER, I TRUST YOU TO KNOW THAT. AS TAVROS SAYS, CONFIDENCE IS THE KEY HER, OR SOME RETARDED SHIT LIKE THAT. THAT IS WHY--”

“Wait So They Are Coming, And You're Claiming Them All As Blackroms Or Something?”, Kanaya snickered, trying not to tease him but just couldn't help it. Karkat pulled at his hair is frustration, growling.

“Karkat, I believe that maybe this meeting should be handled by someone more capable of taking care of the human manner.”, Equius added.

“Ha ha yeah! You seem to be a little to infurtuated with those guys, Karkitty!”, Nepeta giggled next to Equius.

“Aw, I think it's so cute how Karkat likes them so much! It's very EXCITING to meet the humans!!”, Feferi smiled. Everyone continued to laugh and point jokes at the subject. We all froze at the sound of a new voice.

Karkat was starting to talk. Not yell.

“SHUT UP. THAT'S NOT EVEN THE POINT I WANTED TO MAKE HERE O-OK—ay??”, We all fell deadly silent as Karkat spoke very, very softly,”That's not the reason...y-your all here OK?!”

We saw red tears starting to form at his eyes. No one could move there eyes off him.

“I failed you...I-i failed you all and I couldn't even k-keep you all alive! I couldn't do anything right, not for any of you. I couldn't be a good leader, I couldn't keep us safe, I couldn't stay in control, I couldn't listen, I couldn't have kept half of you from dying, I couldn't heal your injuries, I just-just I-i couldn't do anything right!!”, Karkat was completely crying by now, sobs and tears running down his face. I reached out my hand, ready to stand up and try to do something. His eyes flashed toward mine and my heart broke. It was clear he had been holding this all against himself, wallowing in pity and despair, without telling a soul. He took a step back, his hands grabbing his hair as sobs racked his body.

“I couldn't even protect my own friends! Not my planet, either! What kind of self-resting nubfucker am I, anyway? Why I couldn't I do anything to help...? W-why couldn't I d-do...anything...”, another sob reached his throat, and he took another step back. I've never seen him like this before, never this truly sad. I didn't know what to do with myself, and so I stood up. He took two steps back, eyes widening with fear and sadness, like he thought I was mad at him, despite my sorrowful expression. The teasing as far as completely gone by now, and I took another step, while he went back another two. I saw him eye the portal and quickly turn back to us.

“Stop Sollux...”, He cried, stepping back as I took another step toward him.

“KK...come here. Come over here, we're not mad at you, thith ithn't you fault...”, I said, trying to coax him to my arms. He shook his head, his hands tightening in his hair as he kept backing up. His eyes darted for the portal again and his hands dropped, more tears escaping his eyes and he choked back a sob.

“It'd be better for everyone...If I just...I just need...to die.”, He whispered, his empty hands now trying to find his sickle, his eyes growing wider and more alert while the tears poured down his face. Everyone was utterly shocked by his statement, and I immediately started toward him. He bolted back wards, but I still managed to grab the card with his sickle in it before he could grab it. I threw it too the side and opened my arms again.

“Karkat, no. No I won't let you kill yourself. NONE of thith ith your fault. See everyone over there? How thcared you jutht made them? We love you dude, come here.”, I called again, frantically now. He shook his head again, hands gripping back into his hair as another sob broke loose. Terezi finally got over the shock and slowly stood up to, for once in her life with NO smile. Karkat never switched gazes with me, again backing up.

“Karkat...I've never seen you like this, o-OK? Just come back here, OK? OK? We can talk this out”, Terezi said behind me. I nodded gently. Karkat seemed to finally lose it and attempt a sobbing scream.

“NO EVERYTHING WRONG THATS HAPPENED IS MY FAULT AND I SHOULD JUST DIE!!!”

And he flew to the portal and out just like that.

>>END FLASHBACK

You are back to the present, exactly 37 seconds after that flashback. You just ran over it again to understand the situation. What are doing just standing here?!

>>GET YOUR ASS TO THE PORTAL BEFORE HE BREAKS IT AND YOU CANT REACH HIM

And you decide to do that. You run through the portal, Terezi right behind you. Once you get through you roll to the side quickly, hiding behind a rock just as Karkat, still crying, smashed down on it. You calm your breathing and stand up, following the now running Karkat to the edge of a cliff over the Veil.  
His sobs are tearing you apart and you wonder why you didn't notice how much it would hurt to lose (or see him like this) in the first place. You take all the courage you have left, trusting in yourself to hopefully say and do the right things. You step forward, purposely crunching on a rock to get him to turn around.

>>START CRYING AT SIGHT

You forget that and decide to stare instead. His face has pale red tears streaming down them and a bloody nose (you wonder when he got that), his face sweaty and sad. Pity strikes you like a knife. You can barely move. So you decide to talk.

>>TRY TO SAY SOMETHING COMFORTING

Right, good idea.

“KK, I-”

“I hate myself.”, okay that throws you off a bit. Think of something Sollux. Make him think clearly.

“KK, I know, I know you are really methed up right now, but you have to know that if you do thith, the people here will really, really mith you and you'll make them all uh, very thad.”, you put your hands up slowly, like raising your hands to the police or something. Karkat just snorts out his sob and shakes his head.

“No, no they won't 'Thollux'. They all hate me. I failed them. I LET ALMOST ALL OF THEM DIE, DONT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU FUMBLING IDIOT.”, he starts yelling again, and you almost smile because technically for Karkat, that's a good sign.

>>MAKE HIM LAUGH OR SOMETHING

Or something.

“KK, come on you know they don't care! It wath meant to happen, remember? Kanaya wath meant to bring them back like that! It'th perfectly fine.”, you step forward again, trying to look laid back,”You don't have to fathe thith alone KK, stop keeping your fellingth all bottled up. At leatht talk to me, OK?”

You think your making progress, but obviously Karkat has way to much problems then you originally thought, because he rips one hand out of his hair and is now talking to himself while throwing crap out of his cards.

“Karkat, what are you doing?”

“I...have...to kill myself.”, he mumbles. You shake your head, taking another step to him and the ledge. He scoots back again.

“Look KK, you probably are jutht imagining motht of thethe problemth anyway! No one ith mad at you.”, you try to reason. He seems to finally find something he wants, throwing out his entire collection of other crap. It seems to be a frame of some kind.

>>WATCH KARKAT

You watch him tremble horribly at whatever it is, seeing him put it on the ground.

“That is the only good thing that happened during this entire thing. A little fucking picture. Sollux, all I could accomplish was in getting a picture.”, his speech seems to be slowing down considerably, and this hand is back up in his hair.

“You mean that 'take memorieth' devithe from the humanth?”, you ask, kind of smiling at the thought of that day. You see him tremble again, nodding slightly.

“I...was supposed to send them this picture. You can give it to them.”, he looks up, completely still all of a sudden, staring at you with just a frown now, his tears finally ending. His hands release his hair again and go limp at his sides. The look on his face and his stance remind you of his name, Knight of Blood. He looks like he's just gone through a war zone that cost him his whole army. And now that you think about it, you finally understand that that is EXACTLY what just technically happened, and all of a sudden his name makes sense. He was the Knight, the leader, the one who held all of everyone else's emotions. He held all the blood.

This made it easier to understand why he's breaking down.

The Knight wants to take his own blood.

 

>>STOP HIM IDIOT

“Sollux. I have to get rid of myself. I must get rid of myself...so just to let you know now...”

You take a deep breath and start walking, listening to him as you both stare at each other in the eye's.

“...to let you know now that...you are, by far, the closest person to me. Your my best friend.”

“You are mine too, KK.”

“I have to die, though. Right now.”, and he again starts backing up to the very edge of the cliff. You stop again, keeping his eye contact. You think he will run to you now. You watch silently, hoping he'll step forward into your arms.

 

He walks off the ledge.

 

>>SLOW TIME

You watch.

He starts falling.

His hands are still limp.

Adrenaline starts kicking in.

 

“If you're going, I'm coming with you, you thon of a bitch!!”,

>>CATCH HIM

You reach for his hand, just barley managing to catch his wrist. He's not even trying to hold on to you, his whole body just falls, and you lean across, looking him in the eye as your hands dangle above his face.

“Sollux...”, he sounds like he's going to cry again. You struggle to pull him up, but you can't, not with only one hold on him. You whip your other hand out and grab hold of your loosening hand to get a better grip on him. You then realize your crying now.

“Karkat, you bathtard! You think I can handle all thethe thtupid fuckth on my own?! You think I can live without you?! Fuck you, KK, FUCK YOU!!”, you cry, trying to sound pissed but failing considerably. Karkat gulps. You continue.

“Now you will grab my effing hand RIGHT NOW and help me pull your ath up or tho help me, I'm coming down with you!!”

“No, Sollux, I have to die!!”, Karkat say's, tears again leaking down his face. You growl, trying to pull him up by his one arm again, and failing again. You glare at him now.

“GRAB MY FUCKING HAND.”, you scream, throwing out your hand again, reaching for his. Karkat stares at you and your hand, back and forth.

He finally grabs it.

>>PULL THAT ASSHOLE UP AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HIM

You pull Karkat up with some difficulty and automatically crush each other into the strongest, most suffocating hug in all your lives. He's crying, claws digging into your back as his eye's pour out the remaining liquid left in them. You pull at his back, your tears gone quickly because he's now safe. You are completely silent.

“Sollux-”

“I love you.”, he freezes in your grasp, chocking on a sob.

“No, no you don't. I can't be loved, I'm useless.”

“Fuck you and your low self-esteem. I love you.”, you wait for awhile and he finally stop's crying and relaxes in your arms. His hug is less suffocating and his breathing is semi-normal.

“...I love you too.”, he mutters. You smile, pulling him up. He stands up, wiping his eye's with his hand for a moment.

“Th...thank you, Sollux...”, he whispers to you. You drop your head on his and smile again. Taking his hand, you walk back over to the now broken portal. You decide to walk a bit further until you reach another one, both of you stepping on it at the same time. Karkat is still a little wobbly from the emotional stress, and leans on you shoulder, stuck to you like glue while you lead him through the hallways. He's practically a sleep on you by the time you make it to the outside of the room. You peer inside to see everyone sitting up straight, all of them awkward and obviously worried for their leader. Even Vriska.

You pick up Karkat before he falls over, carrying him silently inside, now that he's asleep and doesn't have to deal with all the team yet. Once you walk in you're swarmed with whispers and tears and smiles as they ask questions. You nod and mutter a brief response to some of them, staring at Karkat the entire time, unable to keep a smile off your face. After about 30 minutes of happiness and getting calm again, Karkat and you are the last in the room. Terezi comes in, though, sitting next to you on the couch. She leans against you, her grin only a smile now. She has a look of pain through that smile, and you can tell she wants to cry. You tell her to let it go. She twists her head and curls into your shoulder and silently, you feel tears drip into your sleeve.

“I didn't expect-”

“Neither did I.”

“I-i was so worried, I never-”

“It's OK.”

And the three of you end up sleeping on the couch.

**Author's Note:**

> 6 pages long, and it's 12:23AM here OTL  
> Please comment and tell whatcha' liked <3  
> My 3rd or 2nd sadfic, although it's the 1st Homestuck one.


End file.
